can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize