she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
