I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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