He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
