I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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