i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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