Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize