Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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