I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
