WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
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and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
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I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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