Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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