i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
