Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Randomize
