Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
so that wasnt chicken after all
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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