just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
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Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
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I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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