my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
