yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
