I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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