you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
