Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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