Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
