that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
