Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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