i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
