That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
