You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
