This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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