how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
