How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
