you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
