I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
