Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
