Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
