I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
