can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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