let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
