I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
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So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
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Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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