I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
