let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
