: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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