My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
