Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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