Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
