Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
