You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
