This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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