When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
