She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
