Ambien. No doubt about it.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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