Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
