No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
