dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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