I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
