I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
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Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
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on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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