Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
