there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
