When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
