this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
