you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
