I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You were trust falling into bushes
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
