Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
