I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
