'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
