i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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