My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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