Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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