can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
