How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
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