I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
