The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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