8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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