and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
