Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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