He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Less talking, more tequila
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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