Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
