You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
